Dear Janet
My first emotion on reading your latest letter to us was anger that a subject which has negatively affected so many of the population could be treated so flippantly by someone in power, someone who professes to care. That anger has been replaced by determination to give you some facts to consider. One black woman to another because for me, that’s what it’s about.
When you first took office I was relieved, I naïvely thought that your background in social work would perfectly place you to advocate for the rights of those who are affected by past practices. I was so wrong. You have continued with the weak, uneducated rhetoric which has been trotted out by successive governments.
I was born in London to Irish and Jamaican parents but no effort was made to match me ethnically either with parents or (and this is the important part) community. I was sent to Somerset to live with white parents in a white household in a white community. As a child of 7 days I had no say in this decision and it’s a legal status I have no way of exiting.
I understand that you too were born to a Jamaican parent, so I have some questions.
Were you taught how to care for your hair? Did you visit black hairdressers, were you taught which products to use?
I wasn’t.
Were you taught how to care for your skin, how to moisturise?
I wasn’t.
Were you brought up eating Jamaican food? Were you taught how to prepare it, and the history behind it, family recipes?
I wasn’t.
Were you brought up learning about Jamaican history? The intricacies which make up a very rich national history? The stories passed down by word of mouth from generation to generation?
I wasn’t.
Were you brought up exposed to Jamaican art? Introduced to writers, poets, allowed to let their beautiful words flow over you?
I wasn’t.
Were you brought up listening to Jamaican music? Spending time with other people appreciating the same sounds?
I wasn’t.
In fact my adoption didn’t instill any sense of pride in being a woman of colour and these things continue from generation to generation. I have no sense of Jamaican history I can pass on to my children because I have none. I was not taught about black British history or the history of Jamaican diaspora.
Let’s talk about the impact of that.
It disappoints me when you talk about Talking Therapies because if you had ever accessed Talking Therapies, you would never refer any adoptee there.
Talking Therapies in most areas just aren’t set up for the complex needs of adult adoptees.
It took me 4 years to access the appropriate mental health support and, to put that into context, I have been talking and listening to adult adoptees for a number of years which gave me the vocabulary and the tenacity to see the process through to the end. So many adoptees give up. I wasted a year of those 4 being sent on various wild goose chases, being offered inappropriate treatment, and being dismissed by Talking Therapies.
You talk about helping adult adoptees but you won’t sit down with them. What are you scared of, Janet? The truth? Does the fact that adult adoptees have been muted, ignored and dismissed for decades hit a little too close to home as a social worker?
I had my culture, heritage, history and family removed from my life by adoption and a phone call to an ineffectual, unfit for purpose therapy service isn’t going to fix that.
Shame on you for flippantly dismissing our trauma.
Shame on you for not properly educating yourself on the subject which you are paid to advise on.
Shame on you for following the rhetoric of previous governments and not bringing any imagination or even curiosity to the role.
Shame on you for just not caring.
You were brought up with so many privileges that were denied to 250,000 children of your generation.
Do my comments upset or traumatise you?
I have the number for Talking Therapies, why don’t you give ’em a ring?