Adult Adoptee MovementOPEN LETTER FROM ADULT ADOPTEE MOVEMENTTO JANET DABY, MINISTER FOR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES 10 April, 2025 Dear Minister, Shocking new research on outcomes for adoptees and first (birth) mothers calls for immediate action. The preliminary findings by Dr Lynn Zubov of Winston Salem State University indicate: Furthermore, adoptees and first mothers suffer higher rates of […]
Why is information collected about adoptions, but not about adoptees?
Creativity and activism as an adoptee, a guest blog by Zara Phillips If someone had said to me when I was younger that I would end up writing books, plays and a film on my experience as an adoptee I would never have believed them! It just seemed to happen. The moment I started doing […]
Last night, on meeting an adoptee for the first time, a friend and I were asked “Did you have a good adoption?” In a split second, I had to decide whether to let it go or to challenge this language with a complete stranger. [laughing] “I could give you a rant about why I don’t […]
Is it a battle worth fighting? Today I start a round of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), a therapy recommended for treating the effects of complex trauma, under the NHS. It’s taken me four long years to get here, with frustration and disappointments along the way. With all the hurdles I faced, there were […]
I had a ‘good’ adoption but I hate adoption. I hate the sense of not belonging of always being outside/other. I resent the way non adoptees usually view adoption. I wish that I’d had support from someone with insight to work through my issues instead of finding the primal wound in my forties and realising that no not everybody feels or thinks that way about things. It totally screws with your head and relationships, definitely your relationships!
Male adoptees living in the UK, and perhaps living with mental health issues, often put a brave face on things to stay strong and not show the cracks in our minds on the outside. We drink with the lads, we put up shelves, we are the strong ones, and we are the ones people lean on for support, we are not about to start asking for support ourselves for god’s sake, right?!
But there is a price for this help. Always a price. And that price is having your life put on show, having your complex, raw, unprocessed emotions filmed, Davina leaning in.
Let’s remember that we were children but children grow up into adults and those adults want answers as to who they are and where they came from. Coram IAC owes it to us and our next generation. We are not ornaments or souvenirs, we are people with a past history and an origin story that belongs to us.
We need the apology, we need the recognition, we need the acknowledgment that what was done to us was so wrong and we need help: we need help to heal, we need help to get our voices heard and we need the government to take accountability and to recognise the role they played