“With the voices of adopted adults being heard across the world, and the messaging being conveyed, it is imperative that adoption as we know and understand it, evolves. Coram IAC will continue to drive understanding and best practice, as highlighted in the EurAdopt conference, Coram IAC hosted in April 2024 attended by delegates from all […]
Category: Adoption
Adoption in general
Adoptees who endure horrendous cruelty in so-called ‘forever families’ are too often blamed for the disruption and breakdown. And when we are told it is due to our defective genes, we are vulnerable to believing and internalising these myths for life.
Children are not abusers. Adopters are trapped not by their acquired property, but by their own fear of failure, and fear of shattering their family fantasy beyond repair.
A couple of years ago I came across classes for adopters on nonviolent resistance (NVR). At first I wondered “what are they protesting?” I was horrified to find out that the term was being used in relation to parenting adopted children. The idea of nonviolent resistance was first used by Gandhi and was adopted by […]
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Adoption breakdown
We can only conclude that adoption is broken. And wonder why we are still using this outdated model.
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Long Lost Family, again
I admire those who are able to watch the special ‘mother and baby home’ episodes of Long Lost Family, and I applaud the people who are bringing these stories to light, but I just can’t. Like many adoptees, I find the show emotionally manipulative, ‘trauma porn’ (or worse, adoption propaganda). My life, the information that […]
I had my culture, heritage, history and family removed from my life by adoption and a phone call to an ineffectual, unfit for purpose therapy service isn’t going to fix that.
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Are adult adoptees invisible?
Why is information collected about adoptions, but not about adoptees?
Will you believe that I have grief for the mother I loved before I was born, the mother I lost with my birth?
Is it a battle worth fighting? Today I start a round of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), a therapy recommended for treating the effects of complex trauma, under the NHS. It’s taken me four long years to get here, with frustration and disappointments along the way. With all the hurdles I faced, there were […]